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some people seem to give in to their sadness or let themselves be defined by destructive habits, but fuck that, i just want to be a better person
although, sadness is a thing that happens, and at least we can make it into something productive
sometimes i feel reckless, and indifferent, and that feels good
and then very bad
even though i appear meek, i am tough when it is important to be
i’ve realised that it is okay to be everything all at once
most nights i look at the moon/stars and it knocks me out
over breakfast this morning the boys were talking about how the universe was made and they all paused for a moment, thinking about the impossibility of it all
you never stop feeling like that
lately i’ve had trouble expressing what it is that i feel
i get afraid that i actually don’t feel anything at all when this happens
but that’s never true
emotions & experiences mean nothing to me unless they can be written down or reflected upon
there are parts of myself that feel external to me
